Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures
The Jackie Chan
The Happiest Place On Earth - DisneyLand
As the gang make their way
through the ante-chambers and passageways of the earthen fortress, home to the
deity MARA there are other people in line ahead of them also walking through the
Oh great, just what we
I didn't expect this, long
JACKIE CHAN <Checks his
It's 9:00 now. We
should be on the ride by 9:15 or 9:30.
That's a long wait but I
hope it's worth it.
Probably is or there would
be less people in line.
Good point Jade. <Gives
thumbs up sign>
I keep getting flashes of
Lucky you. <Grins> If
you get more, tell us. We got a long wait ahead of us.
Patience my friends, like
Chan said we'll be on the ride soon.
Right, meanwhile the queue
is designed to allow us to interact or pretend we are the main stars in the next
Indiana Jones movie.
When he said that the
others stared at him in surprise & shock. "What?" they all seem to say at
once, "We are the stars in Indy's newest film?"
I can't believe we are
starring in the next movie.
Wow! But where's
Indy? Is he here in this attraction?
I hope so, he's my favorite
character from the previous 3 films and the paperback book
It says in the map or
brochure "The Indiana Jones Adventure allows visitors to pretend like they are
visiting one of Indy's archaeological discoveries in the jungles of India.
An ancient temple built eons ago by the native villagers to honor their god
MARA. It is said that anyone or anybody who visited the temple on their
free will would receive one of 3 magical gifts within...Eternal Youth, Dazzling
Wealth, Future Knowledge. But there was a CURSE or warning! Any
stupid foolish mortal who dared look the idol in the eyes would be
punished-banished forever into the Gates Of Doom and never return
Ralph, Don, Jade, Ninjara & Tohru cringe-flinch at this frightening warning
but they know it can't be real, just make believe. So they proceed onwards
through the passageways. One of the turtles accidentally pulls on a bamboo
post ignoring a sign that reads "Caution, Do Not Pull On Bamboo" and without
warning the ceiling starts descending from above and spikes appear from
scream like Charlie Brown>
Oops, I didn't do it, I
didn't do anything.
Then as quickly as it
happens the ceiling stops inches above everyone's heads and rises back into the
shadows again with the spikes disappearing from view.
What was that?!
I thought we were going to
Me too ladies. Those
spikes just missed impaling us.
Calm down, relax. It
was only movie-magic, special effects. The spikes were not real, they were
actually plastic or foam-rubber and painted to look like the real things.
But yes, it almost indeed looked realistic.
Whew, saved by the
Man, for a moment there I
believed it was real.
I wonder who set off the
Duh, I did bros. <Looks
Everyone glowers at the
party dude but then break into laughter ignoring the puzzled expressions from
the other guests in line. Their next stop is the Movie Room where
Salah, Indy's best friend gives his Tour Safety Tips. He describes the
military troop transports the visitors would be riding, remain seated at all
times with safety restraints fastened, no eating-drinking-smoking while onboard,
etc. Salah reminds the guests about the magic gifts that await them
within the Chamber Of Destiny but cautions them not to stare the idol in the
eyes or pay the ultimate price - suffer the
This is officially
I know what ya mean, major
How much longer before we're
on the attraction?
Well, it's 9:15 now.
It should be about 5 to 10 mins before we board our jeeps.
If you say so Mikey,
I wonder what they are
laughing about? <To himself>
From the Movie Room the
gang pass Indy's office where he had been busy cataloging all manners of
artifacts & treasures to be shipped back home to the museum in New York
City. Then they enter the Chamber Of Destiny to clear their minds so MARA
can peer into their souls and decide which magic gift they desire. Other
guests are being assisted into their transports by Cast Members at the loading
dock area so before the friends board their transport...they throw some last
minute warnings to the visitors ahead of them.
Fasten your seatbelts, keep
arms, hands, legs, feet inside at all times.
Remain seated while the
jeep is in motion.
eating-drinking-smoking while onboard, thank you.
You know? <Smirks> you
guys would make good CMs.
HUH? <At the same
Hahahahahahahaha, I love
Yeah Ralph, you look funny
with your mouth open like that, hahahahahaha.
This cracks me up.
All 3 turtles blush
red, not with anger but embarrassment. Yet they shrug it off by laughing
too. Minutes later the CMs help the friends into their transport. In
the first row Ninjara takes the wheel with Chan next to her, then Raphael.
In the second row Venus moves to the far inside followed by Jade and
Donatello. In the third row Michaelangelo moves to the far inside followed
by Tohru and several other guests.
Who let the vixen
What's wrong with me
driving, hmmm? <Glowers> Am I not a skilled driver.
Oh, of course you are
Thank you, I'll accept that
as a compliment.
READY! <All give thumbs
SALAH <Voice heard over radio
Hello, hello, oh my friends,
ahh the brakes may be needing a little adjustment but easy on the curves,
heh-heh. <Sound of mic clicking off>
The vehicle pulls away
from the loading dock and approaches one of the 3 GIFT doorways within the
Chamber Of Destiny. As it opens magically as if by unseen hands the voice
of MARA welcomes, beckons his visitors to enter freely.
You seek the future. I
will show you visions & events in time, it is your
Chan, Jade, Ralph, Don,
Mike, Venus, Ninjara, Tohru are dazzled by the sights before their eyes as they
enter the Observatory Of The Future. Suddenly a strange mesmerizing light
catches the attention of one of the friends who stares directly ahead...Alas
however the light is coming from the glowing eyes of the idol and within seconds
MARA's angry voice explodes catching the gang by surprise!
Foolish mortals! You
looked into my eyes, your destiny now lies beyond the Gates of Doom.
I didn't do
Totally out of control
now the transport is propelled by evil forces towards the Gates of Doom as
they open releasing a greenish glow. Suddenly a familiar figure appears in
front of the entrance, fighting against the darkside powers to hold the gates
closed...It is INDIANA JONES!!! And he is not pleased or
Tourists? You had to
look didn't you! <Fights to close the gates> Ugh, we got problems
here. Alright, swerve left, up to the left! It's your only way
As he slams the
gates shut the CURSE is broken and the vehicle crashes back to the stone
temple floor while the wheels spin for traction. Indy motions frantically
for the foolhardy guests to escape while they still can. Ninjara and
friends race past Dr. Jones and now find themselves careening helplessly though
haunted chambers as though on a rollercoaster.
The first chamber the friends
pass through is the Cavern Of Bubbling Death a living h*** with fire, lava,
smoke everywhere. Crossing a shaky suspension rope bridge high above a
lava pit a 10-foot decaying statue of MARA comes to life.
Now you will suffer the
consequences by defying me...DIE MORTALS! <Laser bolts streak from one of his
down> Look out!
trying to kill us!
me out of here!
ALL 3 TURTLES
HEEEEEEEEELP! <Duck heads
into their shells>
Fortunately the lasers
shot from Mara's eye misses the transport as the jeep crosses the bridge to the
other side. They race madly through the Mummy Crypt where mummified
skeletons of past explorers and native temple-people who looked Mara in the
eyes attack the jeep and its riders who yell & scream in pretend
terror. Entering another chamber a deafening hiss fills the air around
What on earth?
I hate snakes, I hate
That was Indy's line from
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
INDIANA JONES <Voice heard all
Snakes, careful. Watch
out for anything that slithers.
What is that?! <Points
A giant King
It's going to strike
Oh no! Do
Here we go again, hold onto
your lunch-boxes! <Steps on the gas pedal>
At the split second
that the King Cobra lunges towards its prey the lady fox swerves the jeep
out of its reach. Other chambers the gang race through are the Insect
Chamber seeing all those creepy crawlies scurrying along the walls, the Rat Cave
where rats hissing & squeaking leap about in the darkness and the Dart
Corridor which seems harmlessly enough...a vine-enshrouded passageway lined with
skeleton warriors on both sides of the walls. Suddenly a CLICK-CLICK sound
is heard, meaning a boobytrap has been sprung accidentally and without warning
arrows, darts & spears shoot out from hidden panels and whiz-whoosh overhead
but you can't see them in reality. Finally the transport rounds a corner
and there is Indy hanging by a rope from the ceiling above just above the jeep's
Looks like Indy's going to
save us as usual.
INDIANA JONES <Hears boobytrap being
Uh-oh, back up, BACK
What is that coming at
It's a giant
A huge rock starts
rolling towards the terrified gang as Indy shouts for them to get clear of the
disaster about to strike them down.
Dive under the boulder
before it hits you, move!
ALL 3 TURTLES
WE'RE DEAD! <Again they
pull their heads into their shells>
For once, I
I can't look. <Covers her
JADE & TOHRU
But just when all seems lost the
floor suddenly gives way beneath the transport sending the friends falling
down-down-down into darkness. Landing on solid ground again the vehicle
races on until turning another corner Mike, Don, Ralph, Venus, Ninjara,
Jade, Tohru & Chan see the giant boulder smashed into a wall creating a
large hole with rubble strewn about and standing next to the rock with a stupid
grin on his face, hat tipped forwards is Indy again. Although he
congratulates the guests for escaping Mara's wrath he doesn't hesitate to throw
a insult such as...
There, that wasn't so
bad. Was it? <OR> Next time, you wear blindfolds, OK? <OR>
Don't tell me that was BIG fun.
Then the theme
song plays in the background the last final parts anyway to be followed by Salah
again speaking to his visitors.
I celebrate your
arrival. If you drank too much from the Fountain Of Youth we'll be happy
to assist you with strollers, ha-ha. But please stay seated until your
transport comes to a complete stop.
Once the vehicle
returns to the unloading lock area inside the Chamber Of Destiny the turtles
& human allies disembark and proceed on their way through another passageway
before exiting out the backside of the attraction and back inside
AdventureLand again. For awhile they just stand there savoring the moments
of the ride they experienced.
Phew, we escaped the wrath
Now we must never let
Ninjara drive again.
Whatever you nitwit.
<Arms folded, glares>
It was fun though. It
almost seemed real like we were reenacting a scene from Indy's next
It was even fun in the queue
area while waiting to board the jeeps. That 45 minute wait was not a
I agree, an excellent
I enjoyed it dude,
especially racing through the haunted chambers.
And we almost got crushed by
a giant boulder only to fall through into a sinkhole and Indy has to insult
us at the end.
Maybe he was doing that just
to warn us not to make the same mistake twice.
Whoa, cool off
It's all make
OF PART VI
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