Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures

The Jackie Chan Adventures

The Secrets Of Pro Wrestling Exposed

PART 5

 

SPLINTER: For the next series of moves & finishers in the world of wrestling we move onto the Rolling DDT, Backbreaker, Atomic Knee, Bulldog Headlock, Hurricanrana, Clothesline, and so forth so...here we go!

ROLLING DDT

JADE: Battletoad Zitz puts Leonardo in a front headlock position (Head under one of the arms with Leo's shoulder in Zitz's chest) At the same time Zitz falls back and Leonardo begins a flip to land on his back. The SECRET is...while Leo is flipping Zitz must roll the arm that is applying the headlock so that the hand moves from his hip to his chest. Both mutants will land safely on their backs.

BACKBREAKER

APRIL O'NEIL: Ninjara lifts Battletoad Rash into the air over her head and brings him back down across her knee which makes Rash scream in pain and fall to the mat contorting in agony, back arched inwards, writhing about. However the SECRET is the vixen does not drive her opponentís back into her knee as it appears to look but instead while she is lifting Rash, he is holding tightly to her shoulders with both arms wrapped around and Ninjara is supporting both their weights simultaneously. Then as Rash is about to hit the samuraiís knee it is his feet that take the impact to the mat first and not his back. Then he drops to the canvas to sell the fake-painful move while it is Ninjara who sprawls onto her knees, mouth hanging open & gasping for breath, eyes wide and arms limply at her sides.

HURRICANRANA

UNCLE SHENG: One more thing! This finishing move really gets the crowd excited because they know what's coming up next. Jackie Chan is about to be thrown into the far turnbuckles but reverses the maneuver and sends El Toro crashing into the corner instead. But as he moves in for the kill the masked wrestler sidesteps and my nephew hits the buckles and topples back to the mat, aye-yiyi! Now Toro mounts the turnbuckles ready to spring upon the helpless Jackie when suddenly he jumps back up and lands a sucker punch to his opponentís bread-basket (another term for chest) making him double over in pain. Next Chan mounts the buckles and jumps aiming for Toro's shoulders. Toro grabs onto the legs and Jackie backflips in midair to land on all fours while tucking in his chin to avoid hitting his head on the buckles by accident. At the same time Toro flips himself through the air and releases his grip on Jackie's legs to crash flat on his back while tucking in his chin to protect his neck from hitting the mat.

BULLDOG HEADLOCK

CAPTAIN BLACK: Tohru and Ninjara demonstrate this finishing move to show you how it's done correctly. Almost similar to Steer Wrestling in rodeo competition the samurai is lifted up for a suplex but she twists in midair to land back onto her feet behind the surprised sumo bodyguard who spins around to have Ninjara slam one or two kicks to his chest stunning him. Next the lady fox grabs Tohru around the head and shouts her war-cry "TO THE DEATH!" runs across the ring and jumping into the air comes down to drive the giant's head into the canvas. But the SECRET to this finisher is the vixen lands on her buttocks as she supports Tohru's head in her arm and the sumo lands on hands & knees instead of his head. When Ninjara lets go of his head the bodyguard to Uncle Sheng pretends to scream in pain and roll about on the mat grabbing his head.

ATOMIC KNEE

SPLINTER: Donatello has grabbed battletoad Pimple from behind with arms locked around his middle. At the same time Pimple puts one arm around Donnie's shoulders and hangs on as Mr. Fix-It-Genius lifts up and the battletoad bodyguard jumps up since both mutants work together to pull off this stunt. Donatello then comes down to bring Pimple's crotch across his knee but that never happens because the SECRET is Pimple's feet hit the canvas instead of his groin and he sells the move by hopping around in pretend agony bent over, grabbing his crotch and yelling!

CLOTHESLINE

JADE: Jackie Chan and Ninjara demonstrate again this devastating move that may look dangerous since it resembles an unlucky-unfortunate victim running or walking into a clothesline or other obstruction and suffering serious injuries. Ninjara throws Jackie into the ropes and as Chan rebounds back out he times it perfectly so he jumps with his feet forward in a falling position before Ninjara strikes him with her extended forearm. Jackie tucks in his chin to protect his neck before hitting the mat creating the illusion of being knocked down by a vicious clothesline.

SPLINTER: There are various other moves & finishers used in professional wrestling of the 21st Century but for now we move onto the next portion of the storyline so to speak, heh-heh. We call it the Special Matches!

UNCLE SHENG: Correct you are sensei. Special Matches with unique rules turn out to be most exciting matches on the cards today. Only this time the wrestlers who exposed all the moves for you fans out there in cyberspace will now tell you all about them!

BARBED WIRE MATCH

JACKIE CHAN: Thanks uncle...ahem, the Barbed Wire Match comes in two main versions: where the barbed wire is strung around and between the ropes and where the ropes are removed and only barbed wire surrounds the ring. Pinning rules and other stipulations can vary but the contestants are pain and blood. These matches are popular in Japan but they've occurred in the USA for 30 years.

BATTLE ROYAL

VIPER: These wild matches involve a number of wrestlers who begin the match in the ring at the same time. Anything goes inside the squared circle and wrestlers are eliminated when they are thrown over the top rope and their feet touch the floor. There is no time limit and the action continues until there is only one man left standing alive. Battle Royals are great fun for fans who get a kick out of watching enemies unite to take on a common foe or 3 men gang up on a hated heel. Wrestlers may slide out of the ring to take a rest (being careful not to go over the top rope) wait for the crowd to diminish or hide under the ring!

TOHRU: Duh??? The feet hitting the floor rule is important as a wrestler might think he's tossed his enemy over the rope to defeat only to find his adversary clinging to the ropes or balancing on the apron. The action in a battle royal is unpredictable but you can count on at least one thing: the biggest wrestler in the squared circle is usually the first target. Even hated enemies will stop brawling each other and gang-up if it means getting rid the biggest threat!

EL TORO: Si, senior. Variations of the battle royal have been popular with fans. These include the WCW's "WORLD WAR III" triple-ring/60-man wargames showdown with 30 wrestlers in 3 rings simultaneously. The WWF's "ROYAL RUMBLE" is a modified battle royal in which 30 wrestlers draw numbers to determine their position or who enters the ring during 2-min intervals. Fans love the anticipation of the countdowns and revelations of the last grappler who has a tactical advantage. The format also allows for 2, 3, 4 men to gang-up on one helpless enemy until an ally gets into the action.

DEATH MATCH

NINJARA: This contest can also be called a "TEXAS DEATH", "TEXAS TORNADO", "BOOT CAMP" or various other types of Death Matches but the rules are the same: there are no rules except that a legal pinfall must be made inside the ring. There are no countouts, disqualifications, submissions, and the participants can use any foreign object they get their hands on. Another version of Death Match is the so-called "STREET FIGHT" whether it's 2-on-2 or 1-on-1 showdown as the combatants engage in bar-room/back-alley brawls. You either pin your opponent or tear his clothes off his body to expose him naked before he does the same to you!!!

LOSER LEAVES FEDERATION

LEONARDO: One match nobody likes to partake in because the rule is "If you lose, you must leave the Federation" and never return unless granted permission to be reinstated again. This is used primarily to settle grudge revenge feuds between rivals and/or friends who broke up with each other or championship titles on the line to finally decide who is the rightful owner of the belt.

LADDER MATCH

DONATELLO: The ladder match is like a normal match except for a ladder inside the ring. The match ends when a wrestler climbs the ladder and retrieves the championship belt suspended from hook & cable on the ceiling or grab a money-bag filled with $1-million cash!!! Wrestlers can also bash their enemies with the ladder as a weapon, tip it over while his opponent is climbing or scale the ladder and execute a high-risk move.

LUMBERJACK MATCH

RAPHAEL: This match has the same rules as a regular match except a number of wrestlers stand outside the ring. Their job is to throw the participants back into the ring whenever they get tossed outside onto the floor. Their unofficial job is to double-triple-quadruple team a participant who happens to be the enemy!

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE

MICHAELANGELO: Pinfalls count no matter where they occur. The rules may or may not be "Anything Goes" but "Falls Count Anywhere" matches usually degenerate into all-out brawls as it's tough for referees to keep up with the action dudes! Whoa, talk about losing control and having to follow the grapplers wherever they fight inside or outside the arena, inside or outside the ring, etc.

STEEL CAGE MATCH

RASH: One of the most common special matches is the 15-ft Steel Cage where the ring is enclosed inside a large cage. This can be constructed from standard link fencing or iron bars. The rules are simple: 2 men enter, 1 man leaves. Either you request the cage door opened by the referee who stands outside and opens the door whenever he hears the wrestlers asking him and walk down the ring-steps to the floor...or...if that plans fails, then i.e. attempt to climb the inside of the cage, straddle the top and climb down the outside to drop to the floor.

SURVIVOR MATCH

ZITZ: In a Survivor Match, 2 teams of 3-4-5 wrestlers are on each side. Normal tag-rules apply, except when a wrestler is pinned he is eliminated from the ring and the action continues with that team minus a man. This goes on until the last man from either team is eliminated. There is also a tag-team version in which 3-4-5 sets of tag teams gather on each side. When a member of one team is pinned, he and his partner are both eliminated!

TABLE MATCH

PIMPLE: For fans who like a little extra mayhem & destruction with their Main Event there's nothing like a table match. This is a new event where in order to win a wrestler has to smash his opponent through a table! This type of match was used in Extreme Championship Wrestling Hardcore style of the 1990s!

SPLINTER: And there you have it! That concludes our story of THE SECRETS OF PRO WRESTLING EXPOSED from all the behind the scenes of what goes on in the world of professional wrestling.

THE END

 


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